Sorry I haven't written in a while, it is a lot harder to get into the habit of writing this than I thought. It is now February vacation, and I have several things I just need to get off my chest and sort out. Fist of all I need to talk about My AP classes. I decided at the end of last year that my junior year should be full of AP classes so that I could be ready for college. For the most part I am doing well in these classes. In AP Calc I'm getting an 88, in AP English I'm getting a low 80, and in those classes I'm not worried. I'm not saying those classes are easy, they cause my stress every day, but the class that is the absolute hardest and most stressful is AP History. There is so much work. Each chapter is 30 pages long and we do a chapter a weak. My teacher Mr. L expects us to "deep read" each chapters, then "deep read" it again while taking notes, THEN reread it AGAIN to make sure we got everything. All that on top off all the other homework we have. This is an insane amount of work for every one in the class. For me it takes even longer because of my learning disability.

Now, unlike every other person I talk to, I am NOT using my learning disability as a crush or excuse not to do my homework. I'm also not saying that my disability should be disregarded. I have no idea how to treat my disability, or how to talk about it with others. When I talk to my mom she says things "I understand why your failed your quiz, your disability makes reading hard". When I talk to my dad he either tells me my disability is in my head or I'm using it as an excuse to fail. When I talk to my friends they say thing like "You need to do something to cure it, to make you read faster".

Any way, I can't seem to keep up with the class. I feel like crap about it. I've fail all of the quizzes I've gotten in the past few weeks. I just can't seem to understand it. I spend almost every free moment studying for this class and I'm still sweating in each class praying to God he doesn't ask me a question. It probably isn't as bad as I think, I do hang out with people that are very smart and push themselves up and beyond, but still, a 37 isn't really "up and beyond" and I think virtually everyone would dislike this grade. I just feel like shit. All I do is work my ass off for this class and then I fail. I even tried copying notes off the internet to use on the quiz. I told myself that I would read the chapter and add to the copied the notes. But I never got to that point. When I actually took the quiz I forgot my notes in front of the computer and then fail the quiz because I couldn't remember anything I had copied down. I wish I had read the chapter, especially since he busted our class for cheating that day too. It wasn't over the notes I had copied, it was for cheating on online quizzes. I wasn't part of that, not that i didn't think about it. To me that was going to far. At least with copying notes I still had to answer the quiz questions on my own, but the cheating on online quizzes someone you got all the answers before you took the quiz.

Any way, I'm tired, and need to go to bed. I still have things I want to write about, so I'm going to try and post tomorrow.